Ben Norris

📖 📱 Phantom

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 Chainfire

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 Naked Empire

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 The Pillars of Creation

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 Faith of the Fallen

By Terry Goodkind

While there are cases in which the output of an activity matters a great deal, in much of life the infinitesimal changes that occur in you matter even more.

My therapist suggested a few weeks that I adopt a daily practice of writing Morning Pages to help clear my mind and get in touch with the emotions I am holding in my body. As I was talking about it with my wife, she suggested that I use loose-leaf lined pages, mostly because I hate lined paper. That would help transform the act of writing my morning pages to be more of an exposure, which is always helpful in my ongoing struggles with OCD. To increase the effectiveness of the exposure, I further decided that I would throw the pages away each day.

I have a hard time throwing things away, especially writing. Throughout the years, I have often taken copious notes, and rarely reviewed them. After every therapy session, I would immediately sit down in my car and write an outline of what we discussed. I finally realized one day that the urge to write these things down and keep them comes from the fear of losing or forgetting something that is important. I discussed the issue with my therapist, and she kind of laughed. She commented that she would have stopped me if I ever tried to take notes during a session. The important thing for me is not to perfectly recall everything that we discuss, but rather to internalize one or two major takeaways.

The first few days that I wrote my morning pages, I felt a little surge of panic as I threw them away. I slowly habituated to the perceived destruction of important information, and my brain settled down. As I did, I noticed an interesting phenomenon. Knowing that I was not going to keep the pages freed me up to write more things. I allowed myself to express whatever was going through my mind, without worrying about whether it would be valuable later or not. As I quieted the inner editor that is constantly at work, I found myself getting in better touch with my emotions. I would often just create a prompt for myself, and write, “Right now I feel” and write whatever word came to mind.

Through this process, I realized an important lesson. The process of change that occurs as I write out my emotions and thoughts matters so much more than the output I create. This is true in so many areas of life. As we interact with each other, we are constantly changing each other. We are the result of all of those tiny changes. If we want to be different than we are now, we merely need to repeatedly expose ourselves to different situations and influences.

Whether you struggle with OCD or not, I imagine at times you feel the twinge of panic that you are losing something vital. Hopefully this lesson can help you, and me, to remember what really matters more. The kind of person we become is almost always of infinitely more importance than the artifacts we create.

In addition to being the spiritual path, it feels like the only way for me to survive.

📖 📱 Soul of the Fire

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 Temple of the Winds

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 Blood of the Fold

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 Stone of Tears

By Terry Goodkind

🎥 Hobbs and Shaw

Alone

📖 📱 Debt of Bones

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 The First Confessor

By Terry Goodkind

📖 📱 Wizard’s First Rule

By Terry Goodkind

📖 🎧 Star Wars: Thrawn: Treason

By Timothy Zahn

📖 🛏 Lonesome Dove

By Larry McMurtry

Switching from playing a game to reading on my phone as the default behavior on the toilet has made a world of difference.

A couple weeks ago, I realized that I was spending way too much time playing a game on my phone. At the beginning of June, I had been introduced to the game and started playing in some of my spare time. As the month went on, I found myself looking for more and more opportunities to play. Every trip to the toilet, I pulled out the game, and I even started going to the bathroom when I didn’t really need to. It was getting out of control.

I was discussing the situation with my wife one evening. She admitted that she had gotten to the point of feeling some despair when I headed into the bathroom, knowing I would be gone for a while. For years, I had implemented a rule of no phone on the toilet. It started as a month-long Valentines Day present to my wife and she liked it so much that I kept it going. During my intensive treatment for OCD, I challenged any rules my brain had for me. That resulted in me slowly pulling my phone out more and more on the toilet until it became a habit again.

I decided that night to delete the game from my phone and immediately change my toilet phone habits. My goal is to keep the rule less rigid, but also influence my behavior for the better. So I committed to only using the Kindle app on my phone while on the toilet. And the effects have been striking. I have found that I spent much less time in the bathroom now. I’ve only read nonfiction so far on the toilet, and it’s been much easier to stop without getting sucked in.

In addition to spending much less time in the bathroom, the time that I have spent reading feels more productive. I no longer have a vague sense of unease that I am wasting my time addicted to a game. Basically, my family wins because I am with them more, and I win because I feel better about myself. It is surprising how much the few minutes scattered throughout the days add up to.

Over the course of a couple weeks, I was able to finish the book Digital Minimalism, by Cal Newport, which I had been wanting to read for a while. I am currently reading The Art of Gathering, by Priya Parker.

One of the biggest lessons that I have taken from this is the importance of analyzing my life and reclaiming time that I feel is being frittered away. This is in line with my 2019 goals, which include being intentional. Small amounts of time consistently spent quickly add up to significant investments that can bring joy and fulfillment.

📖 The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

By Mark Manson

📖 📱 What the Dog Saw

By Malcolm Gladwell

📖 The Gifts of Imperfection

By Brené Brown

🎥 Spider-Man: Far From Home

Alone

📖 🎧 The Tipping Point

By Malcolm Gladwell

I needed this today. Maybe someone else does too.

As is often the case, seeing a diverse group of people come together helped me remember what is truly important.

At my company, O.C. Tanner, we celebrate select work anniversaries with a small ceremony involving multiple speakers who highlight achievements or qualities of the employee. Today was the one-year anniversary of a man who is about to become my new product manager, and I was touched.

Beyond the kind words that were said about him, one fact that spoke volumes of him was the crowd that gathered. Not just the number of people, although that was impressive in its own right. What jumped out at me the most was the makeup of the group. There were so many people from different departments who came to celebrate with him. It was one of the first times I have seen that kind of audience at a one-year anniversary.

The specific group that impressed me with their attendance was our client success team. Many people in our product/technology department work with client success as little as possible. As they said themselves during the ceremony, they are often needy and demanding, reflecting the concerns of the clients they represent. We have a tendency to focus on the new and exciting, and have a harder time embracing the value of maintenance and enhancement, and those whose lives focus on maintenance are often perceived as less valuable.

I left the anniversary celebration inspired. I just passed my four-year mark, which does not have a formal ceremony. As I think about my five-year anniversary next year, I want to approach that with intentionality. Obviously, I cannot control who will choose to come or not. But the more people with whom I work and get close, the more diverse the audience can be. I have realized that the people with whom I work are some of the most important and valuable opportunities for learning and growth that I have. I hope that I can remember that over my next year, and throughout my career.