A year ago, I was completely focused on what I could build myself. Now I find myself more interested in what I can help others build. It’s an interesting and satisfying shift.

😂 Me: “I love how much you help and love cooking.”

Micah (age 7): “That’s because I want to be a baker when I grow up!”

Me: “Oh great! What do you want to bake?”

Micah: “I don’t know… Just stuff in a fancy restaurant.”

I have long nursed a secret desire to do stand-up comedy, although I have allowed my fears to hold me back from trying. I finally made the attempt as part of my OCD recovery, and enjoyed the experience.

As I got close to the end of my treatment at the OCD & Anxiety Treatment Center, I was pushing myself to do more activities in which I risked something. I have long wished that I was funny, but I have come to grips with my lack of natural humor. As I wrote earlier this year, I am not destined to become a stand-up comedian. And that’s ok. I decided that I should try stand-up comedy and risk not being the best. Since I was nearly guaranteed to not be the best, it seemed like a productive thing to risk.

At first, I just suggested to one of my co-workers that I could do my routine for him. He asked who else I was inviting, and I realized that inviting more people would definitely increase the risk level, which was the whole point. So I ended up inviting our entire I.T. department to come over lunch, but only about 20 people came. So the next week, I volunteered to do it again for a full department meeting. That meeting was recorded, so I have a record of my attempt. It went better than I feared, and I decided I would share the video.

What a great way to spend Saturday afternoon 🏈

This was a fantastic article on Zen Habits: How to Be Kind to Yourself & Still Get Stuff Done:

[T]he truth is, most of us are judging ourselves, beating ourselves up, looking harshly at our shortcomings and flaws, a lot of the time. It’s why we’re stressed, anxious, frustrated and disappointed so often.

A different path might be kindness to ourselves. When we see a flaw, we might see the beauty in it. Instead of always striving to be better, we can find gratitude for how great we already are. Instead of beating ourselves up, we can be kind to ourselves and see that we have tried our best, that we had good intentions, that we have a good heart.

As someone whose OCD manifested as a pathological compulsion to beat myself up for even the smallest infraction, I know how crippling this can be. I am certainly not perfect at being kind to myself, but even learning the skill has been life-changing.

I love his reminder:

So here’s the rule: kindness to yourself, always. Even when you fail at the rule, be kind to yourself for failing to be kind.

We could all benefit from learning and practicing this skill. I hope that I will continue to work on it, and that I will be gentle with myself along the way.

I let Cal (age 2) sit on my lap and he started trying to feed me from his plate.

Me: “You eat from your plate, and I’ll eat from my plate.”

Cal: “Can I? Can I? Eat you?” As he shoved a forkful of food in my mouth.

After he force-fed me a few more vegetables, I said, “You can sit on my lap, but you have to eat your own food.”

Cal: “Ok.” And he hopped down.

I definitely love my kids, and yet, there are times when I want to grab them by the scruff of the neck and toss them in a room and lock the door.

😂 Annie (age 5) was cleaning out the dryer filter for my wife, and grabbed the lint and said, “This dryer lint is like when you guys are kissing–fluffy and disgusting.”

😂 As we were sitting together playing games, Micah (age 7) recoiled.

“Dad, you need to brush your teeth really bad!

“I smelled it by getting some in my mouth!”

What a game! The 49ers certainly had their chances. Seahawks scored nearly everything off turnovers. I always hate seeing the game lost by a kicker’s mistake. The 3 he made to get them to OT are quickly forgotten after that. Fun to watch though! 🏈

😂
My wife: “I liked how polite you were interacting with the haircut lady.”

Micah (7yo), with a look of exaggerated patience: “Well, she was polite and interactive with me!”

💮 I’m really excited about my newest project: mentalworkhealth.org. It’s all about helping people create a safe space at work to talk about mental health. I don’t know exactly what shape the project will take, but didn’t want to wait any longer to get started.

What an exciting LSU-Alabama game. The 46-41 score doesn’t reflect how dominant LSU was most of the game. Wish it was more of a blowout to help Utah’s chances. Fun to watch! 🏈

Our 14yo did Model United Nations today for the first time and was the star for part of it. She organized a group of other teens to write and pass a resolution in 40 minutes (which is apparently extremely short). 🌟

Life is much less frightening to me now that I know I have options and don’t just have to do what my brain tells me to.

As I have had my own experience with mental health over the last year or so, I have found that looking at my own health in a more holistic way to be extremely helpful.

I have always loved public speaking. For a long time, I have wanted to start speaking at conferences more often, but I could never figure out exactly the right topic. Finally, I know.

Last summer, I had my first personal experience with mental health, and through that process have come to learn much more about myself and people around me. Nearly all of us are affected by mental illnesses of some kind, whether directly or through someone close to us.

A few principles and approaches have helped me tremendously in considering my own health, and I shared my first presentation about them at a local Cocoaheads meet up.

We had some technical issues, so the recording of the video is in two parts, and missed a small chunk of the presentation where I describe health meters and what they are. Hopefully what’s here is still useful, and I hope to improve and deliver this talk many more times.

For me, sticking with something has never been the issue. Sticking with something without becoming rigid? Now, that can truly be hard.

Fantastic approach to the bathrooms at Taqueria 27. And great illustration of the inclusivity good design can foster.

Likely to have “Chopsticks” in my head all day. Each time I hear it, I grin, thinking of my 12yo and 10yo trying to figure out a duet together. I mean, is there anything better as a parent?

📖 American Sniper

By Chris Kyle

We had a lovely dinner with extended family today to celebrate our daughter Arwen’s blessing (like a christening). Nothing fancy—scone tacos and fruit kabobs. Such a great time with people we love.

Micah (7yo): “If I get my tooth out, I’ll get like a dollar. That’s what I’ve been getting for the last ones.”

Me: “What if you get 10¢?”

Micah: “Then I would be so mad. I would just leave a little bomb under there that would… What time does the tooth fairy come?”

Me: “You never know.”

Micah: “Ugh. Then I would just set it to go off in the morning. And I would make it look like a tooth. I wish she would leave me $100. Then I would have lots of money and be revenged for the 10¢.”

Micah: “Dad, I get way more than 10¢. Add another zero and a dollar sign.”

💮 I had a hard time sleeping last night, and kept thinking about what mark I want to leave on the world. After my family, I feel like the best thing I can do right now is to increase awareness and decrease stigma of mental health, especially in the workplace.

💮 The key to recovery is progress. Ask yourself every day, “What can I do that is hard today?” Keep working towards your goals.

This is something I want to write more about soon that has been on my mind lately.

⚾️ Congrats to the Washington Nationals! First World Series won as a franchise, and first time the road team has won every game in a postseason final.